Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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