Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
