The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
