Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
