If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
