I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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