She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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