There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
operation have a gay friend backfired
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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