Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
