This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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