question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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