Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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