i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
