how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
