I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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