If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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