We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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