I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
