PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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