I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
