The brown eye won't let me do that either.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
