Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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