I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
