Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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