Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
