Where did you get a picture of my penis
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize