First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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