If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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