dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
