It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
