i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
