dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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