You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
