i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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