you guys were way drunker than both of me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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