Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
