i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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