im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
