So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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