fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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