hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
