Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
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Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize