for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You dont lie about slip and slides
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
