If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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