So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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