Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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