So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize