He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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