I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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