if i can run in heels then i can drive
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize