This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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