I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
