i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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