in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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