his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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