Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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