You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
