i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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