If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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